


Beyond Probable Disaster

by Leaving_tomorrow



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Roxas (Kingdom Hearts) Has Issues, Roxas and Sora (Kingdom Hearts) are Twins, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 18:17:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leaving_tomorrow/pseuds/Leaving_tomorrow
Summary: Roxas is crushing on Destiny High's heartthrob: Axel Quinn. Just like the rest of the school.With Axel being openly gay, he's got a slight advantage. But, there's a problem.Roxas is a disaster, a ticking time bomb on legs.He can't hold a relationship, he only hurts people and he doesn't think he deserve to be in one.Especially with someone as perfect as Axel. He was everyone's dream guy, he couldn't ruin or taint that.No matter how much he wanted him.





	Beyond Probable Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> Roxas is mentally ill (it's more than just depression) so this is a warning first and foremost that this fic will contain violent outbursts and self-destructive behavior. Also, these boys curse (Let them be teenagers).   
> The mental illness that is portrayed isn't 100% accurate, I've only done research. So, I do not mean to offend anyone!  
> If you have any suggestions on how my work could be better, don't hesitate to leave constructive criticism.

He doesn’t deserve love, happiness or kindness. He’s a bad person, if he could even consider himself that. He might as well be nothing; a husk, a hollow shell. A waste of space, a waste of oxygen.

As he blow-dries his hair, after bleaching it blonde, he thinks about Xion. How she never wants to see him again. How he constantly made her cry. How she was so ready to leave him, so, he got the jump on her. Broke up with her, came home and smashed his ukulele against his dresser before throwing it out the window. It was too easy to break, but Leon and Cloud refused to buy him another guitar, so, he settled on ripping up his art journal too. It didn’t matter. She didn’t matter. Nothing matters. He could live without her. He didn’t really have much of a choice now.

Regret. It always came, no matter how many times he’s done this. No matter how many boyfriends, girlfriends, partners he’s had. They never lasted. He knew it was his fault somehow. He fucked up, it was him who drove them away. His family says it’s not his fault, but he knows they’re tired too, he knows they want to leave. He knows they’d be happier if he wasn’t in the picture. They have a perfect son already, why did they need the runt of a fraternal twin too? Who was he, if not just a copy and paste gone wrong?

He was born with boring brown hair, like his brother. But that was an easy fix. He’s impatient, but bleaching his hair at home with a kit he got for $10 at Target made it much more bearable to wait than if he went to a salon. He did a pretty damn good job, he notices once his hair is dry and fluffy. That was the downside of using a blow dryer, unfortunately.

Wetting his face with cold water, his eyes slightly soothed, he wills the redness of his face from the aftermath of crying to dissipate. Drying it with a soft hand towel, he reaches for scissors and mousse and gets to work. It takes about half an hour to be satisfied with his new hairdo. He figured since he bleached it that he shouldn’t cut that much, but just the trim and gel makes him look and feel more like a person.

Putting everything away, he slides on his loosely tied black converse and heads to the mall. Without bothering to look at the prices, he buys tees, jeans, shoes and whatever else he wants at Hot Topic. He then heads home, dropping everything that needs to be washed in the washing machine before taking his shoes off. Popping a melatonin tablet, he crawls into bed. Chewing it instead of letting it dissolve, sleep seems to come much easier.

It’s 7am when his dad, Cloud, wakes him up gently and tells him that all his new clothes are washed and dry, the piles folded on top of his dresser. Of course, Cloud tells him that his other dad, Leon, wants to speak to him about that later. These conversations are becoming a habit. 

Before he leaves, his dad expresses that Leon will like his new hair. Cloud’s opinion on it is obvious and bias, now having a son with his hair color for once. He didn’t even need to be fully awake to figure that out. Cloud rubs Roxas’s shoulder, leaving him to wake up on his own while joining his husband in making breakfast.

Half an hour later, Roxas gets out of bed feeling overall okay. Going to the bathroom, pissing and brushing his teeth; he’s pleasantly surprised that sleep didn’t mess his moussed hair too badly, it was just a bit flatter. Washing his face, he returns to his bedroom and goes to the piles and picks out an outfit. He did fall asleep wearing the clothes he went out in, as per usual, but he knows he’d be badgered if he didn’t change. Throwing a My Chemical Romance hoodie over his slept-in long sleeve shirt, he switches his blue jeans to black skinny jeans. Pulling on some white socks and his new black and white checkered sneakers, he pockets his wallet, phone and keys before grabbing his backpack and heading downstairs.

As always, Sora is already gone. His boyfriend Riku has been picking him up ever since he got his license. It was probably for the best, as they’d be early to school and be able to make out or do whatever else they want. They’ve been together since middle school, though Riku’s technically been around since kindergarten, yet Roxas still doesn’t really like him. They butt heads more often than not, but they were okay not being close. He was good to Sora, which was the promise he swore to keep. 

Sitting down at the dining table, he offers Leon a smile as he sets down a plate of blueberry pancakes in front of him. Leon raises an eyebrow, wearing his usual ‘Caution: Extremely Hot!’ red apron that Cloud got him accustomed to wearing. “He was right, it looks good. Surprisingly.” Passing him the maple syrup, Leon turns away and Roxas assumes the conversation’s over for now. He seems tired from work, and probably has a few words about his shopping spree, but he doesn’t push it. He can’t help it, after all.

Ignoring the texts Xion sent, he checks his Instagram and taps on stories. Skipping through, his finger hovers in surprise and presses down to keep the photo up from the profile ‘Elemental_Affliction’. It was a selfie, the caption being “Would anyone be interested in us doing a photoshoot? But I can’t be the only one having all the fun ;)”.

Oh…man. No matter how much he lurks on their profile, or stare at him whenever the opportunity arises at school, he can never get over his stunning features. Axel Quinn, Destiny High’s heartthrob (as cliché as that word is). He’s weirdly popular, not falling into any certain clique like Jock or Prep, he’s the kind of guy that gets along with everyone. He’s also quite smart, has good music taste (clearly, as he’s the lead singer in a punk rock band), six-foot-tall and has good style.

All on top of being the hottest guy in school. It wasn’t an exaggeration or a complaint, it’s the truth. Especially since he’s openly gay. The feeling that he hypothetically has a chance was a good one. Not like it was a strong possibility, though.

In the selfie, it was the inverted camera and from his chest up, he was wearing an unbuttoned button up (at least as far as the top buttons went), exposing his collarbones and a hint of a quote tattoo beneath it. His eyes were as piercing and green as ever, a smug smile on his face.  
Licking his lips, Roxas doesn’t hesitate to take a screenshot. He’s forever thankful that Instagram doesn’t notify the person (as far as he knows). The amount of Axel screenshots in his photos could rival a hipster food blogger trying to find the perfect angle, or a girl screenshotting messages in case she needs receipts. Letting the selfie go, he pauses the story afterwards seeing a bunch of text on a black background.

“Now that I have your attention, we have an announcement. Our band is playing tonight, from 8pm to 10pm at Captive Hearts (a legit, live music venue. Not somebody’s house again.) 10505 Barks St, it’s between Anselmo and Farmer. You can sit and eat, they’ve got a full menu, or stand and rock out with us. Our little Demy will be passing out flyers too, so feel free to get his autograph before the show. Hope to see you all there ;)” -Axel.

Taking another screenshot, he goes through the rest of the stories while eating his meal. Throwing away the paper plate once he was done, he grabs a few Kit Kats for the road before saying “Bye” to his dads. He’s already going to be late, so he gets in his car and grabs Starbucks before finally arriving half an hour late.

Screw it. Sipping at his Cinnamon Dolce Latte, he takes his time walking to his Economics class. Of course, Dr. Hollander isn’t happy, but he’s told Roxas too many times how this isn’t college where he can show up whenever. Roxas is glad that most of his classes are with Hayner, Pence and Olette this time around. It’s annoying having to meet new people.

During his Algebra 2 class, him and Olette were talking, since she said they could work on the worksheet in pairs. When the teacher asks what they were talking about, Roxas states that they’re going over the last lesson, she says, “Maybe you’d know how to do it if you did the homework.” Roxas’s eye twitches, his anger flaring with no warning. “Fuck you. It’s not like we’ll remember any of this stuff, especially with how bad of a teacher you are.” The room went deafeningly silent, it only taking a few seconds for the teacher to explode “Go to the principal right now, Mr. Strife!” “My dads aren’t here, Ms. Illua”, he says sarcastically. “Get out of my class.” Looking at Olette before standing, he pulls his backpack on and slams the door behind him. His eyebrows lower and he starts cracking his knuckles for something to do.

Teachers make no goddamn sense. They’re not supposed to insult their students, especially after giving them permission to talk and work with someone else on their stupid assignment. It’s like she’s oblivious that everyone copies each other’s homework, especially when the answers are found online. Doing homework doesn’t help shit, because if they don’t know how to do it in the first place then how are they supposed to be helped with practice? It’s her job to teach and remember that most students aren’t like her. Not all people learn like her or are people who want to go into a career with that nonsense. He was just being honest, everything is forgotten by the end of the semester anyways.

Kicking a locker, he goes down two different hallways only to get run into by some tall guy. Unfortunately, most guys were considered tall, since he’s been stuck at 5’6” for a few years now.

“Watch it!” He yells, papers going flying and the tall guy falls to the floor by his own force. Watching his hand run through his mullet, Roxas immediately recognizes him as Demyx, the bass guitarist of Elemental Affliction. From what he could tell: he was friendly and lazy, not as popular as Axel but more talkative, with the same talent to be friends with anyone. Demyx looks up and gives him a big, goofy smile, like nothing was wrong. “Roxas? Hey! I almost didn’t recognize you. The blonde looks awesome. Now it’ll be really easy to tell you and Sora apart” he laughs, Roxas feels his clenched fist shake as the nail dig into his palm, his heart hammering in his chest. He kicks, his foot making the locker rattle, narrowly missing Demyx’s head as he started picking the flyers up. Cowering from the noise and the intense gaze, he quickly gathers the papers and taps them on the ground so they’re all neat. “I was just joking with ya, my bad. We have a gig today, I’m sure you already know since you’re following us, which, by the way, is super rad. I’ve tried to follow your private account on my own personal one, but you never responded, or you just declined…but, that’s okay! It’s your personal life, we’re not that close. Anyways, I hope to see you there. We’ll be taking requests and I’m expecting good ones from you, alright?” He smiles after that nervous rant, getting up and handing him a flyer before speed walking away.

Briefly looking down at the flyer he pushed into his hand, noting how much more professionally laid out and explained than on their story, he shoves it in his pocket. Roxas would wonder why Demyx was out of class with all his flyers, but he’s got no time for that. He’s about to head to his car, until Ms. Illua suddenly appears and asks if he went in. Rolling his eyes and shoving his hands in his sweater pocket, he steps into the office to get her off his back.

They both take a seat in front of Mr. Xemnas’s desk. He’s technically the vice principal, but everyone acknowledged him as the one in charge with how little the actual principal shows up. He smiles sympathetically at them as she explains what happened. It’s not much, and they all know Xemnas has dealt with far worse. 

“Did you really say that, Roxas?” “Of course I did, why wouldn’t I? She implied that I’m stupid because I didn’t do 20 questions worth of homework. Homework, by the way, where you can find the answers in the back of the book.” “That’s for checking your answers, Mr. Strife.” Roxas pulls his hands out of his pocket and pulling his sweater sleeves over them, crossing his arms over his chest tightly. “No one uses them for that and you know it.” Xemnas sighs, gesturing at Ms. Illua to not respond back to him. “If what he says is true, that’s very inappropriate, and I’m sorry that he retaliated. However, it’s only natural, and there’s nothing more I can really do. You’re not the first. I’ve spoken to him about his language many times before.” “What do you mean nothing you can do? Can’t he be expel-”

“That’s enough, Ms. Illua. Again, you have my consolations. I hope you’ll do your job properly and not make this issue bigger than it is. Don’t discriminate against a student who’s struggling, it’s his senior year. You’re not the only class he must be stressed about. If you’ll allow this event to overcome you and fail him because of it, not only will he graduate, but your position will be filled by a more professional teacher who’s certainly in more need of a job that you do. I’ve seen your track record of Fs, Ms. Illua.” She looks at him like he’s grown a second head, Xemnas continuing, “I’ll transfer him to the other Algebra 2 class with Ms. Branford, if you feel so inclined and incapable.”

“I’m not incapable…However, can you give him detention or more community service hours, make him clean the school, at least? He won’t learn his lesson if you let him go unpunished.” Xemnas nods his head, gesturing his hand in a shooing motion. “You’re free to go back, Ms. Illua. I’ll talk to Roxas and choose an appropriate action to compensate. Believe me when I say it’ll be taken care of.” He smiles at her; her nose wrinkling and she glances at Roxas before leaving the office.

Xemnas physically relaxes once she’s left, slouching in his plush chair, his eyes looking at the top of Roxas’s newly blonde hair while he stares at his fingers. Xemnas forgot Roxas had a tattoo he liked looking at, a simple black semi colon on the side of his right middle finger. Leaning back, he thinks about Roxas’s hidden potential, which was regrettably being hindered. “You can leave, Roxas. You know the drill. Take a break and try to attend your other classes afterwards, if not, at least pop by and get the work before you go.” He’ll call Leon and Cloud later, Roxas knew that, but he naturally complies to Xemnas’s suggestions.

Right as he got up, the door opens to reveal Axel. He’s as hot as usual. Black skinny jeans accentuating his long legs and tight ass, the same black button up he saw in his story only having the top two unbuttoned. He’s wearing the necklace with a red crystal on it, as he always does; Roxas vaguely remembers that Demyx had given it to him and it had some sort of special meaning, since Demyx is…Wicca? Something about believing in crystals and their energy, or whatever. Axel smiles, all teeth, and Roxas feels his heart beat even faster, his internal anger stuttering.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” Axel asks, tilting his head slightly, looking between the two before Xemnas shakes his head saying, “Not at all.” He smiles once more and studies Roxas for a few seconds. Consciously, Roxas fixes his sweater and runs his hands through his hair, focusing on the ground instead of those green eyes. “…Roxas, right?” He asks, which makes him nod his head and shrink a bit more into himself.

He couldn’t help it! He’s so tall and was staring right at him! He didn’t want to show his anger in front of him, Axel would never want to talk to him again if he did. Shifting feet, Axel’s amused chuckle makes him feel like he was being physically shaken like a Christmas present. “Demyx mentioned a new blonde cutie at school, and he couldn’t have been more spot on. It suits you.” Axel gives him another smile and appreciative hum before turning to Xemnas, “I got the flyer you asked for, sir. All of our signatures, Saix being the hardest to convince, but, better late than never.” He shrugs, setting the flyer on the desk. “What’re your plans for it? Frame it? Or are you going to sell it on eBay once we make it big?” While he’s distracted, Roxas tries to sneak out, but as the door was closing, he hears Axel say, “See ya, Rox!”

Sitting in his car, he forces himself to take deep breaths and listening to his calming playlist on Spotify. Now that he wasn’t being awkward in front of Axel, the underlying anger from Algebra 2 flares up. As much as he wants to listen to his normal playlist, he knew his music would keep him riled up or wanting to destroy something else. His car, a blue Mazda 3, was too nice and clean to purposefully make him want to take care of it. 

The rest of the day went just as well as expected. Him and his friends spent lunch talking and eating Panda Express off campus. They don’t talk about Xion like they usually did, likely because Olette knew and warned the two to not talk about it, especially since he already got angry. But his underlying anger turns from being mad at teachers to being mad at himself for almost letting Axel see him like Demyx did. Demyx probably told him how he yelled and nearly kicked him in the head, but why would Axel talk to him if he did hear that? It had to be a fluke, especially when he shortened his name like a nickname. Something that’s given to friends, like he wasn’t totally out of his league; hell, a totally different world, or universe. Did he do it to pity him? If so, who’s fault was that in the first place? His own. School finishes without any more external problems and he drives home, hopping in his bed and under the covers as he scrolls through his social media. He hears Cloud talking on the phone as he goes downstairs, it was probably Xemnas. Roxas is thankfully left alone.

After playing some Breath of the Wild and stalking Axel’s public personal account (not daring to follow him, due to the notification that’d be sent), it’s about 6:40pm when he decides to get ready. Get ready as in: put his shoes back on. Fixing his hair in the mirror at the door, Cloud helps by picking the lint off his hoodie and cutting the tag that’s been scratching the back of his neck. “You’re lucky Leon’s at work, not here to lecture you.” He knew that. “Try not to come home with an STI, okay?” Cloud smiles, Roxas rolling his eyes. “Drive safe.” “I always do, dad.” “I know, but it doesn’t hurt… love ya, kiddo.” Roxas hugs Cloud back, muttering “Love you, too.”

After driving and eating some In N Out, he wipes his washed hands on his jeans after shaking them. Using Maps, it’s 20 minutes later that he arrives at the live music venue. It’s miraculously only 7:30, he guesses that the band is still getting ready.

Taking the last free parking spot, being honked at in the process, he locks his car and stands in the short line at the door. Paying for his ticket upfront, he shows his driver’s license to the bouncer before being let in. What immediately greets him is an interior he can only describe as retro, and almost rustic. The whole interior was dark brown: the walls, the bar, the tables, the bar stools/chairs and the leather booths. The hardwood was slightly lighter, but still brown; Roxas looks around the place as he walks to find a free seat. Hopefully, he’ll find one. Though, the fact that there was an 18+ age requirement gave him some confidence that it wasn’t as packed as it should be (with how many people from school follow Elemental Affliction’s Insta and probably didn’t get a flyer from Demyx stating the limit).

The bar he passes is interesting: the dozens of alcohol bottles on their shelves were illuminated red and blue, there were several chalkboards with items written, artwork of rock stars on the wall, the hanging lights were classic lantern pendants and the ceiling only over the bar was covered in black records with colorful middles. There had to be at least 100 records, all stuck up on the ceiling. Walking onto the main floor, he finds out that the stage’s ceiling is also covered in records. The stage is smaller than he expected, though he could tell the venue itself was meant to be a bit smaller and more intimate.

There is a sound booth on his right, right before the bathrooms. Then, there are all the tables, which all had a single candle in the middle. It was a few tables: for a small group of 3 or 4, tables for two people or the booths for the larger groups. Most are filled, similarly at the bar. There was a lot of open space, perfect so people could pack in and stand/rock out while listening to the bands, like an outside concert. Moving past a group who was talking and blocking the way, he sees an open seat and makes a B-line for it. It’s the last table for two, though one of the chairs had been brought over to one of the group tables. Looking around once he’s seated, he notices the cheesy rock memorabilia hanging on the wall, string lights lining the ceiling on top of having different hanging lights, there were a few brown couches and a coffee table in the back-left corner. He can only imagine how many people had had accidents on those couches, either from drinking or from trying to have sex without the wait staff noticing. He also notices that instead of the brown hardwood, the section after the right side of the stage has gross, leopard print carpet. He didn’t trust that at all, so, he was glad his table was barely saved from it.

He’s in an amazing spot; the right corner, closest to the booths, the stage being right in front of him. He didn’t know how or why this spot would be open, even if he came with friends then he would’ve taken the seat and made them stand, but he wasn’t going to complain (at least, not until he almost goes deaf from the speakers).

Checking his social media out of habit, his clock reading 7:47, he pulls up Instagram to see Elemental Affliction was doing a livestream. Shouldn’t they be getting ready? Clicking on it, he quickly pops in his earbuds so he can hear over everyone else around him talking.

“-my bad. But it’s all good because we’re going to livestream our whole gig. You’ll miss a tiny bit in the middle, since there’s a limit, but we’ve got people. One person is livestreaming and another one is recording the whole thing normally, but, anyways—if you can’t watch the stream as it’s happening, don’t worry. The whole thing will be available on our story till tomorrow, and we’ll probably upload some of our favorite clips too.” That was Demyx, who smiles after he finishes explaining a question that was commented. “Demyx, get your ass back over here, your hair is a mess. Give Reno the phone back.” A voice says, which Roxas recognizes as Zexion, Demyx’s boyfriend. From what he knew, Zexion was an alright guy. He was intelligent but otherwise mysterious, he was a private person. He wasn’t shy but nowhere near as loud and talkative, he was politer than Demyx, but he was also openly sarcastic and won’t stand to be spoken down to if the other wasn’t superior to him.

The phone shifts, obviously being handed to someone else, and familiar red spikes flash as Reno sticks his tongue out at the camera. Red spiky hair, a few strands falling in his face, the rest of it was held in a ponytail against his back. Symmetrical red marks under his blue eyes, Roxas chides himself for the stutter in his chest from just seeing the hair. He forgot Axel had a brother, though he had no idea why he’d be here when he was never in charge of livestreaming any gig before.  
“Oh, yeah, hit me up with some song recs. Of course, they have to get my approval, but our boys here waited last minute to decide they want your suggestions. Even though you’re not here, paying to listen…chill out, I know. Age requirement, it’s tragic.” Reno rolls his eyes, not an ounce of real sympathy in his voice.

Reading the comments, Roxas cringes at some of the suggestions. He hopes that they’re only jokes, since they make it obvious on their posts on what bands they like and what songs they know/learned. Reno openly cringes as well, hiding his eyes and then washing the hand down his face in disbelief. “Axe, we’ve got a lot of winners here” he says in a fake, happy tone, “Call me maybe, I want your bite, pour some sugar on me, toxic. Wow, a lot of stripper songs…I know being promiscuous is your reputation, but—” a curtain opens, revealing Axel cocking his hip out, resting his hand on it and looking at Reno with a raised eyebrow. He walks up (damn it if Shakira’s hips don't lie then what’d she say about his?) and he looks at the chat as Reno holds the phone out for him to see. At the angle, it was clear that he was wearing eyeliner to make his eyes even sharper, having the perfect cat-eye, and his 1. black t-shirt underneath his button up (which implies he’ll eventually take it off) and 2. his collarbones were briefly on display. He could probably hang clothing hangers on those. Roxas wipes at his chin, just in case he drooled a bit. Axel straightens up soon enough though, crossing his arms and looking at the camera. “Come on guys, do you think I’m wearing all black and eyeliner to sing those kinds of songs? Of course, I could—but I left all the goods at home. My mesh or transparent shirts, my high heels, all those things. Plus, we told the owner we are in the rock, punk-ish genre, so, give me something good.” Axel at this point has straight up taken the phone out of Reno’s hands, pushing the curtain aside to lead them to an even more backstage-backstage area.

Biting his lip, he quickly types a comment and sends it. It might get lost in the mess of messages, most being actual recommendations while some are irrelevant banter about how hot Axel is (though they’re not wrong) and others that have just joined wondering what was going on. “Troubled Times, I can get behind that, the world is pretty screwed right now…Master of Puppets, hmm, a classic but it’s pretty long…”

“Too long” another voice says, this time by Saix, who appears from behind him. Saix was weirdly intimidating, way more serious than Zexion. Zexion may as well have been a sugar crazy, energetic child in comparison. No one has seen Saix smile; truthfully, he always looked emotionally constipated. He was a bit more open when Axel was around, a bit more relaxed, but that’s because they were childhood friends. Apparently Demyx came along in middle school, while they all met Zexion in freshman year.

“Yeah, haha, thought so…hmm…hell yeah, dual_wielder, guys, we have to do “Do you love me”.” “By Escape the Fate?” Demyx asks loudly, Axel replying with “Who else?” Casually, Zexion answers “The Contrours. It was a hit single in 1962.” Axel half-heartedly glares in their direction, pointing the camera to show Zexion gelling up Demyx’s hair to it’s normal stiffness, he looks nonchalantly at the camera and Axel before making a shooing motion. Directing the camera back on himself, Saix shrugs behind him. “He’s right, but no, obviously the first option. It’s what we all learned.” 

Axel nods at Saix’s end statement, Zexion interrupting him by saying “Come on, give us a challenge. Don’t play favorites just because he likes them.” Zexion is shushed, Axel running his hand through his hair before smiling at the chat. “Keep ‘em coming, but yes, we’ll definitely do “do you love me” as one of the firsts. I dedicate it to you, dual_wielder.” He says with a wink, Roxas internally freaking out. 

“…Broken Heart, too? You guys in? They already know they’re my favorites…” Hearing affirmations from the three, Axel chuckles “I just realized, why haven’t we made a whole album covering Escape the Fate songs? There are so many good ones!” “One, it wouldn’t be an album; we’re not wasting our time and money to be a cover band. Especially if we’d be jumping around their albums just for the songs we like. Two, we have talked about singing them in the studio before, but we’ve been busy. So, we can go through with making a playlist of those covers when we have time. Probably next month. We’d do it sooner if you two didn’t sign us up for the talent show…” Axel starts whistling, averting his eyes from the glaring daggers staring into him and Demyx. “It’s going to be fun. Anyways…Saix, you pick some. Also, has anyone been keeping track what we agreed on?” Reno then steps backstage, Axel taking the notepad and pen from him before looking over Saix’s shoulder and they choose a few more before deciding to pass the phone back. 

“Thanks a bunch, guys. We’ll see you in a few. I hope Reno doesn’t give you too hard of a time.” Axel winks once more, the four of them making a gesture of goodbye before they disappear behind the curtain and Reno makes his way to a booth. Roxas notices that of course he’s in the booth behind him. Exiting the livestream, he closes Instagram, weirded out seeing himself being recorded. Plus, there was now only a couple minutes until they were supposed to start.

He realizes that he missed a few texts. Ignoring Xion’s new message entirely by deleting the chat, he gives Sora a guess about what time he’ll be home. He starts to reply to the group chat (Hayner, Pence, Olette) about their weekend plans (mini golf or roller skating), but is interrupted by the main lights dimming. Not bothering to finish it, he locks his phone and shoved it in his pocket and looks at the stage where one guy is walking up to. He looks weirdly a bit like Xemnas, but it was hard to tell. “Good evening everyone. I welcome you all to my venue, Captive Hearts. We’ve got a fantastic line up of up-and-coming artists tonight. Sit back, feel free to hit up the bar or order from our extensive menu anytime, and enjoy the show.” A few groups whoop, ladies at the bar cheer as the man leaves and the main lights go completely out. The stage lights go on and envelop the area, when four figures appear from backstage and get into position. Zexion is on the drums, on the left is Saïx on lead guitar, on the right is Demyx on bass guitar and Axel, front and center. 

He’s never actually seen them play live on a stage before (besides the few times he passed by the music room). Of course, he watched their stories every time they had a gig, but he was either grounded or not feeling up for going during those shows. Well, better late than never.

Roxas knows it’s meant to be intimate—the stage easily being taken up just from three people, plus the drum set that had its own extra flooring which lifted it up a few inches—but Axel has very little room to move, which he’s almost positive is going to be an issue. 

...He didn’t realize just how intimate it was going to be when Axel scans the room and locks eyes with him. He’s basically front row, close enough to touch him. Why didn’t he expect this to happen? Axel grins, his eyes lingering for a few more seconds before Roxas has to avert his gaze. He misses Axel’s grin widen and eventually turning towards the front after glancing and sending a peace sign to Reno and the livestream. 

“Welcome to the show guys, how’re we feeling tonight?” Getting some cheers and whoops, Axel readily adjusts the microphone to his level and keeps one hand gripping the stand. “Awesome. So, if you haven’t heard of us, we’re Elemental Affliction. On the drums, we’ve got Zexion. Don’t be fooled by the hair, he’s not the angsty out of all of us.” That gets a few chuckles, Zexion flipping his bangs and rolling his eyes and Axel’s need for extra commentary. “On the bass we have our mullet styled chaotic neutral, Demyx. For those of who do don’t know that alignment, it basically means he’s an idiot. But we love him for it.” “You better” Demyx jokes, speaking into his mic before pulling away, adjusting his bass to press against his side. Axel points at Saïx with his thumb, leaning his weight on his other foot. “On lead guitar, we have my main man Saïx. I’ll let you in on a little secret, he’s the most angsty. Can’t you tell?” He smiles, watching Saïx carefully crossing his arms. “Don’t be too alarmed, his face always looks like that at the beginning of shows. I think it’s nerves.” The corner of Saix’s lips twitch, not clear enough from Roxas’s seat whether it was out of frustration/annoyance or it was amusement. He gestures for him to continue, Axel looking around the venue once more. “And, last but not least, I’m the lead singer, Axel. Get it memorized.” 

A loud whoop comes from behind him, making him jump a few inches in his chair. Fucking Reno, Roxas forgot. Willing himself not to turn around knowing that the camera would be pointing in his direction, he’s able to ignore the few laughs from the table next to him. 

Axel accepts the rhythm guitar from a stagehand being put over his neck, fixing the strap on his shoulder to rest correctly after they quickly left. “We play rock, so if you’re not prepared to lose your hearing and voice for a few days, then I’d get out of here if I were you. Hope to make this a night you’ll remember.”

And with that, the band kicks off. They start off with Enter Sandman by Metallica, a classic song everyone knew no matter the generation. It was incredible, the vocals being so different yet not having a negative impact on it. It still gave him goosebumps, no matter how many songs he’s heard Axel sing. Nothing beats listening to him live, he wishes he had more of an excuse to be able to. 

Moving on to songs that were suggested, like Troubled Times by Green Day and Feel Invincible by Skillet, the whole room starts getting more comfortable and excited. In The End by Linkin Park revealed that Saïx was better at rapping that Roxas expected and Axel was really good at holding a note. It was during Savior by Rise Against that Axel got tired of standing still. He was bouncing his leg while singing, smiling and giving it his all as he sang centimeters from the microphone. When there were pauses, he’d move around the tiny stage and instead sing in the microphone in front of Saïx or Demyx and play their guitars facing each other like they were already rock stars. 

When they start playing Do You Love Me by Escape The Fate, his request, while Axel looks at him knowingly and with no hesitation, Roxas swore that his heart skyrockets into his throat. That eight second intro, Axel singing while looking right at him made the instruments that followed shake him to the core. He goes back to focusing his attention on the whole crowd, which leaves Roxas not knowing if he’s glad or disappointed. 

He didn’t know why he chose the song, besides the fact that it was his favorite. It sounded almost angelic in comparison to when he sang it alone in his bedroom. Despite the voice, the lyrics sounded off coming out of Axel’s mouth. He didn’t deserve to feel so bad, feel worthless, question someone for loving him. Axel was so much better than that, deserves so much better.

After drinking water, he winks at Reno and pulls the microphone off the stand. He must’ve taken the rhythm guitar off at one point, but Roxas was a bit out of it. Needing to drink some water himself, he nearly choked on it when Axel started singing the intro to Afterall by Beartooth and stepped off the stage. 

It was impossible to look away from him. He sang, unhindered. With more space, he danced with no shame. Axel was invigorated by the crowd’s energy, like he was amplifying his passion and love for music throughout the songs as they went. He threw his fist in the air and smiled ear to ear between short pauses. He was so present, radiating in the spotlight and pressure of making no mistakes. Saïx, Demyx and Zexion has his back so he was allowed to do something like this. 

Axel makes his round from one side of the room to the other, teasing Reno with the phone pointed at him. When he was on his way back, he stops in front of Roxas’s table and places one hand on it. At the bridge, he sings the first part of the last chorus and brings the mic in between them, nodding his head asking to join in. Of course Axel noticed that he knows this song and has been mouthing it the whole time. He was so screwed, forever.

“I thought I had this figured out,   
I should scream but I’m still searching for the voice I lost,  
I guess I’m just human after all,   
I guess I’m just human after all,  
I guess I’m just human after all.”

The adrenaline of singing with him (and in front of at least 50 people) didn’t hold a candle to the slightly surprised look, but very big smile which told him that he was impressed and happy. Axel’s free hand only moves to give his hand a firm pat. Not his head, not his shoulder, not his arm, his hand! 

Roxas is in a bit of a daze for the rest of the performance. The next two sets (after a 15 minute break) goes on in a similar fashion, though they force Axel to be content singing from stage. He’s reminded that if they booked it anywhere big then he wouldn’t be able to jump in the crowds like this, besides the fact that dragging a wired microphone was definitely a tripping hazard. If Demyx could hold out jumping into the crowd, then Axel definitely should be able to. It just meant that he danced more where the space on stage allowed him. 

Just like he warned, by the end of it Roxas could hardly hear and his voice is completely shot. It would suck, but he would have to shut up for a few days. Axel thanks everyone, thumbing up Reno. 

Getting out of his chair, he pauses for a moment when Axel looks him up and down and smirks before turning his head away. “I want to thank the owner, Xehanort Junior, for giving us this gig. And I want to thank our hardcore fans for sticking with us so far. Thank you everyone here for such a fun night. See ya guys.” 

There’s still another band that would be playing after them, but Roxas saw what he came for. Escaping the venue was a bit of a hassle, going to the bathroom first and then being shoved a bit from other people trying to get out. Getting in his car, he pulls Maps and his Spotify up before heading home.

Flopping into bed half an hour later with a pack of Oreos, he rolls into his back and uses his chest as a table while scrolling through his social media. He checks Instagram to see that besides the livestream in the stories, Elemental_Affliction has already got a few of their favorite one minute videos posted from the show. It was clearly on an iPhone, since it must’ve been too early to get the video from their friend who was professional recording it for keepsake. Tapping the video twice he leaves a like, but he furrows his eyebrows when he notices that he’s tagged. Watching the video completely, his face flushes realize it was the part when he sung with him. They weren’t even gonna ask if he was okay with it?? Looking down at the heart icon, he sees two notifications. The first one is that he was tagged in a video, the second notification was…a follow request by Axel?!

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably take forever to update, I've been working on this fic idea since last year.   
> For any of you who are waiting for Hear Me Out, I'm sorry I haven't added a new chapter yet. College is getting really busy and difficult, but I'm trying my best to work at it little by little.


End file.
